The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.

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OK, so that paragraph was obviously tongue in cheek, but hopefully in conveys some sense of what Brooks' remarkable "The Zombie Survival Guide" is like. While obviously a parody of both the horror genre and civil defense/survivalist manuals, it maintains an "all-business" demeanor, never once cracking the façade to reveal the underlying humoristic intent. The result is a book that is, when taken as a whole, a funny, incredibly thorough work of satire. However, at the same time, page-by-page, it is a rather accomplished addition to zombie horror.

Starting with zombie physiology and then moving on to weapons, tactics, long-term strategy and history Brooks has produced a manual which has a thoroughness that belies the absurdity of its subject. Point by point he discusses the pros and cons of rifles, machetes and flamethrowers, then considers the optimal defensive positions for various types of outbreaks. After an extensive discussion of survival in a zombie doomsday scenario, he lays out zombie outbreaks through history, and what their implications are. Throughout, entries are extensively cross-referenced and alternative courses of action are always weighed for potential risks and benefits.

The remarkable thing about all this is that Brooks has managed to infuse a tension, and urgency into his manual that makes for great reading. Part post-apocalyptic fiction, part "Night of the Living Dead" and part "Saturday Night Live" sketch, this is a book that should hold appeal across a broad range of genres. Thorough without being dry, creepy without being clichéd, and funny without relying on cheap laughs, "The Zombie Survival Guide" is undoubtedly one of the most original books I have ever read, and one that I enjoyed reading immensely. If you appreciate any or all of these genres, or if you just enjoy a well executed, original idea, this is definitely a book you'll want to check out.

And remember...Tomorrow may be too late, read this book today!

Jake Mohlman

121 of 131 found the following review helpful:

The Undead Don't LaughDec 19, 2006
By Ethan D Van Vorst
Max Brooks has put together a rather unique book that it's simply impossible to classify. Part field guide, part arcane zombie history book, and part disaster-training manual, it also manages to keep things serious enough to make you wonder if what it's talking about is real. I began to wonder if Brooks actually believed what he was writing, and that's a big plus point in the book's favor.

The book is separated into several portions, ranging from zombie physiology, what zombies can do and can't do, an overview of Solanum, the microorganism that gives life...or "unlife" to the zombie, as well as a pretty fascinating look at what weapons are best matched against your undead opponents and what kind of structures to barricade yourself in should an outbreak occur. At the end of the book is a pretty extensive collection of "historical" zombie outbreaks throughout human history. The whole thing is written so seriously that you'll laugh out loud when you get to the end of the book and see several Zombie Action Checklists for the owner's use to keep track of outbreaks.

Here's what I've learned should an outbreak occur:

-Grab an M1 Garand and lots of ammo

-Machetes and trench spikes are superior to machine guns

-Get a bicycle...zombies can't hear you and you can always carry your bike over rough terrain, and all without reliance on gasoline

-Chainsaws are fun, but will give you a false sense of power (sorry Bruce Campbell!)

-Flame throwers are the ultimate zombie-killing weapon. But carrying 70 lbs. of equipment on foot will make you slow enough for zombies to catch you.

-Off-shore oil drilling rigs are the ultimate hideout!

-If it all blows out of control make for the nearest tropical island, or the Artic circle if you can handle the cold

-Stay away from hospitals in the case of an outbreak

The book's serious tone about things so ridiculous will make you laugh out loud several times during the reading of it. This was one of the most unique and entertaining reads I've had in a very long time, and I thoroughly recommend it!

129 of 149 found the following review helpful:

Actually it's not a bad piece of horrorNov 04, 2003
By wanderingtaoist "wanderingtaoist"
Watch out Stephen King.
Another reviewer was right when he/she said this book isn't laugh out loud funny. It's not. But it is very amusing, considering it's not tongue in cheek at all. It's tone is straightforward and very serious. Survivalists, bodyguards, law enforcement and military personnel might get a kick out of how some of their standard weapons and statics are used against zombies because some of the advice rings very true for real defense encounters. And I think horror fans, especially fans of George Romero or the Resident Evil videogames will really like it. It's classic textbook zombie stuff, right down to zombie physiology. ;)

But by far, the best and scariest part of the book is the Recorded Attacks section near latter part of the book. These short stories are hella creepy and make for some great camp fire yarns. They are so very well done, especially the one about the gangs in L.A., for a second, you'll be wondering if it's really a parody.
I was expecting something crappy and cheap, but I was surprised. It's a neat little read.

40 of 45 found the following review helpful:

Sweet, sweet brains.Aug 03, 2004
By Amanda
I've bought three copies of this book, one for myself and two as gifts for friends. They both loved it, and so did I. So here I am to recommend it.

The Zombie Survival Guide is a notoriously difficult book to classify. It would be laughed at if it were shelved with other "survival" books, yet it doesn't seem to fit in with humour because it's not technically funny. It's a parody. Therein lies the humour. It probably won't have you in stitches (no pun intended), since the book is written "with a straight face" on something that (if it were real) would be an extremely gory and disturbing subject. If you can appreciate this book as a parody...well, you won't be laughing out loud, but you'll be highly amused and very entertained.

Basically, this book is a very entertaining parody of survival books that happens to use one of the old horror stand-bys: zombie hoards. Let's be honest: would most of us know the first thing about how to survive if we woke up one day to see the walking dead at our doorstep moaning for our sweet, sweet brains? Sadly, the answer is a resounding NO. This book details the basics of what every person who values their lives -- and their brains -- should know about surviving a zombie attack: which weapons work and which ones don't, what supplies should be a priority, which buildings make good shelters, historical records of past zombie attacks, terrain types, as well as tactics for being barricaded in your home, on the run, partaking in zombie hunting, or -- should the unthinkable happen -- hiding out as the undead hoards sweep across the Earth. The Zombie Survival Guide won't guarentee your survival, but it will certainly give you an advantage over the poor shmuck who doesn't even know to shoot for the head.

The only real con about this book comes up if you buy it expecting a laugh-out-loud humour book. If so, look elsewhere. This is a parody that never strays from its serious demeanor. Not to scare anyone off; it's quite readable, and has enough of a coloquial feel to appeal to the average civilian. It's an amusing parody and an enjoyable read, but the book doesn't wink-wink-nudge-nudge the reader or go for one-liners and laughs.

The pros are simple: it's a higly enjoyable parody of survival books, with an extremely cool topic. If you're a zombie movie buff, this book will let you smirk at your superior knowledge of zombie-fighting tactics when the idiots in the movies wouldn't know a zombie if it bit them. (Alright, THAT pun was intended.) If you're looking for a good reference book about survival tactics and the like, this is a readable variation that's probably more entertaining than most. (The lists of gear to carry seem pretty logical in ANY dire situation.) Yet even if you read the book and fully accept it as a parody, it still has a way of getting to you. You'll find yourself idly wondering if you have enough food in your house to last through a seige, or whether you should invest in a machete and a shotgun. Just in case.

20 of 21 found the following review helpful:

Handy advice, a few glaring omissionsOct 08, 2003

Finally, a decent tome to guide the common man through any zombie armageddon. It is near-perfect, and it offers overall sound advice. Brooks is entirely wrong, however, when it comes to the M-16 (modern variants, incl. the M4) v. AK-47 question. The reliability issues that Brooks cites haven't applied to the M16 in over 25 years. If kept clean and happy, the M16A4 and the M4, are many times more accurate and reliable than the AK-47. In fact, some would say that it is more suited to combatting the living dead than the living, as long-range accuracy is key. Moreover, the M16A4/M4 are common to American military and law enforcement, and no domestic zombie survivalist should pass one up. The author also ignores the proven zombie-killing action of the modern tomahawk: smaller than an ax, bigger than a hatchet, and easier to use than either. One last point, although Brooks is correct in saying that large vehicles are potential death traps, nobody should overlook the break-out power of a good solid trash truck. It won't get you far, but it will get out of the neighborhood in a hurry.

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